


Tell Me Something

by noblecrescent



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aftermath of a Case, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27172223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noblecrescent/pseuds/noblecrescent
Summary: It's always been hard for Spencer to say what he feels. Words are just not easy for him but there comes a time when that simply won't do. And given his line of work, he should've guessed it was only a matter of time until the job forced it out of him in the worst situation ever. Aitana would've never guessed it.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Tell Me Something

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first time I write for CM so I'm still pretty rusty but I do hope to publish a full story in the following months with the same OC! In the meantime I'll stick to one-shots and AUs to test the waters!
> 
> Pronunciation of the OC's name sounds like "eye-ta-na"

**Author's Note** : Hi! Hello! This is the first time I write for CM so I'm still pretty rusty but I do hope to publish a full story in the following months with the same OC! In the meantime I'll stick to one-shots and AUs to test the waters!

Pronunciation of the OC's name sounds like "e _ye-ta-na"_

**P.S**. As always, I have a tumblr account dedicated to my fanfic works! It's a place where anyone can comment about a story or even just talk to me! I often drop aesthetic work belonging to my stories too! Feel free to check it out, my URL is "noble-crescent" and the tag I created for any posts having to do with my work is # noblecrescentedit.

~ 0 ~

* * *

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It was a case like any other, terrible and gruesome but nothing they hadn't seen before. But for some reason, this time around, things went terribly wrong.

* * *

_"Go, go, go!" Spencer practically yanked the smaller brunette woman with him in a complicated run. One second less and they would be caught in the open._

* * *

Aitana pushed back her short curls and rubbed her freckled-face once then twice, and then a third. She tried pushing away those memories but if she was okay then it meant she had the duty to remember how things happened, how she let Spencer down. She didn't even register the ER nurse coming by her bed to stitch her right ankle up, nor the concerned Emily by her side.

* * *

_"We have to try to get out of here!" Aitana yelped when Spencer made a swift turn down the left._

_"The chances of us making a turn back and getting out through the front door don't look so well!" He said in a quick-paced ramble. He wasn't searching for a way back around the building. They started one way and they had to follow it until the end._

_"Yeah, but they're coming!" Aitana could hear the running footsteps behind them._

_"Which means we either have to be faster or hide!" His answer came in the form of a tight alcove._

_"But—" Before Aitana even knew it, Spencer had crammed her in first._ _He then had to maneuver his way in. I_ _t was, admittedly, a bit painful being that type of squished but if it meant staying alive then so be it._

_"Listen, there's a door a couple feet down from here. We just have to run for a bit but if we can reach it, we'll be good." Spencer was saying as he simultaneously tried peering out. They were coming._ " _On the other hand, we might need to compartmentalize and separate."_

_"What? I'm not leaving you!" Aitana exclaimed a tad louder than she should've._

_"Shh!" He and Aitana made the mistake of looking at each other. Being squished and crammed meant there was zero space between them._ _Absolute zero_. " _Listen Aitana, I can't promise that you'll always be safe around me but I **can** promise that I'll always **try** to keep you safe. I'll do anything I can and right now, this is me trying." Spencer offered her a soft smile despite their current situation. Even then, Aitana felt the reassurance he was trying to give her. She believed him entirely._

* * *

Aitana couldn't remember another moment that had brought them _that_ close to each other. If she concentrated hard enough, she could remember the feeling of Spencer's heartbeats against her chest. If she thought hard and pushed through her guilt, she could rival his eidetic memory by remembering every last detail of his face. So concerned, _scared_ , and yet still kind. She had mainly been the middle kind but Spencer always knew how to pick and choose what to be in the worst of situations. He was logical.

"Aitana?" she flinched when Emily touched her arm. "They're done."

Aitana followed the pointing finger to her ankle. Stitches now adorned it. "This shouldn't be it," she muttered with disgust. "I shouldn't _just_ have stitches."

"Aitana _—_ "

"I should have _more_! I should have bruises and cuts and everything else because _that_ is what I deserve!" Hot tears stung Aitana's eyes the more she went on. No matter what Emily tried to say, Aitana wouldn't desist. How could she get Scot-free with a few stitches while Spencer was God knew where...all because of _her_.

* * *

_"Alright, we have one small window of opportunity here..." Spencer was no doubt making his calculations in his head. The footsteps were getting far too close. "We'll run and whoever gets to that door first keeps going no matter what._

_"_ _I am not leaving you behind," Aitana reiterated, though she had a good feeling that he would make it first. He did have long legs after all. If he got out, she would be fine. He would get the backup that they couldn't call for in that moment._

_"On my count," Spencer started. He tried raising his hand to count off with his fingers but the moment he accidentally dragged them over the side of Aitana's waist he dropped that intention. He thanked the darkness that covered his momentary flush. Unknowingly, Aitana was thanking it too for the same reasons._

_As soon as he reached 'Three!' they made a run for it. Not even 5 seconds later did they hear the "I see 'em!" that was followed by gunfire._

_They were ridiculously outnumbered to try and fight back._

_"C'mon!" Spencer reached the door first and yanked it open. He was mighty disappointed to see a small backspace with a gate closing them in but it wasn't that tall. They would have to climb._

_Aitana yelped. A bullet had caught her ankle. "Son of a—" Spencer whirled around to see her doing a cross of a limp and run. "You need to go!" She waved him to get going. "Close the door and go!"_

_Spencer glanced back at the gate. He would be able to climb it pretty quick but leaving Aitana behind?_

_"GO!" Aitana yelled at him._

_Spencer shook his head. "No!"_

_"What—"_

_He dashed back for her and pulled her with him even when her limp was getting in the way. She protested with the natural claims she was slowing him down but he wouldn't budge._

_"I found 'em!" They heard one of the men announce. They could even see the silhouette of him getting closer._

_"Spencer, let go and run!" Aitana tried prying his hand off her arm. "You said whoever—"_

_Spencer shoved her out the door and just in time because a second later a bullet crashed against the door hinge._ _"Climb up and **go**!"_

_She knew his full intentions now and there was no way she would let him do it. "Don't you dare!"_

_"Aitana, just go! You'll be safe! Plus, someone has to know if Melody is alright! They won't kill me!" Just as Spencer claimed that, another bullet struck far too close to his arm._

_"Spencer!"_

_"Go!" He pushed her again and shut the door on her._

_"NO!" Aitana screamed and ran back for the door to open it._ " _Open this door right now! Open it!" She frantically banged her hands against the door with all her might. "OPEN IT!"_

_"Go!" she barely managed to hear Spencer because soon after, she heard more bullets._

* * *

Aitana's eyes snapped open. She gasped lightly. "Where's...?" She started shifting on the bed, reminding herself she was in the hospital.

"It's alright," Emily was beside her. "You had to be sedated."

"Seda..." Aitana briefly remembered the battle she ensued against the nurses and even Emily herself. "Oh God..." She pushed herself up in a sitting position.

"Hey, hey, lay back down," Emily tried to keep Aitana on the bed.

"You guys got away with a sedation the first time but not again!" Aitana was fierce but Emily Prentiss was _more_.

"You _can't_ go anywhere! You got a bullet in your ankle!"

"A petty thing!"

"NO!" Emily's yell was enough to freeze Aitana and cause several eyes to come their way.

Aitana looked Emily in the eyes and, little by little, tears welled up in hers. "Emily, I..." Her lip trembled and soon, the tears rolled down her face. "I _left_ him. I left Spencer in that place."

"He told you to go," Emily reminded her.

"But I wasn't supposed to _actually_ _go_!" Aitana brought a hand up to her forehead and rubbed harsh circles over her skin. "We're friends, we're...I _wasn't_ supposed to leave him!"

Emily doubted that Aitana remembered all the rambling explanations she gave when they first found her. Everything the team heard was enough to make their own conclusions. One of them had to make sure that their missing victim was still alive and putting one FBI agent in the mix would ensure that most of the potential harm came their way and not to the victim. Frankly, Spencer made a call that any one of them would've made too.

"I have to go help look for him," Aitana made another move to get up and since Emily wasn't in the mood to have another round with her, she told her what had recently happened.

"We already found him!" As Emily expected, Aitana froze midway getting up. Her expectant look prompted Emily to explain what happened during her sedation. "What you said helped us piece together where the unsubs could've taken Spencer to, where Melody could be held at."

"What-what happened? Is he alright? M-Melody?" Aitana swallowed hard. The way that Emily was looking at her had her heart skipping jolts. Emily pursed her lips together. "Emily, are they alright?"

"They're here in the hospital." That was subtly evading the true answer and Aitana knew it.

" _And_?"

Once Emily sighed, Aitana knew the real answer was finally coming her way. "Melody has a few cuts and bruises, nothing her body won't heal from."

"Apart from the mental torture, I'm sure. And Spencer? How is he?"

"Uuh, last time I heard was that he'd gone into surgery—"

" _What_!?" Aitana sprung from her bed before Emily even blinked.

"Hold on! Hold on!" Emily managed to grab Aitana's arm, thanks to the limp in Aitana's ankle, before the latter could fully ran out on her.

"Emily! You just said that he was in surgery! He's there and I'm _here_!" Aitana's face crinkled with disdain. "I left him and now he's in _surgery_!" She believed that was enough of an explanation for her behavior and determination to get out of the ER. Even if it hurt her ankle like hell, she was _going_ to wherever they brought Spencer to.

It was for that reason that Emily decided to help her and not fight. She helped Aitana up the floors until they found the team in one of the waiting rooms.

"Have the doctors come by? How is he?" Aitana hobbled her way into the room. "And Melody? Is she—"

"He's still in surgery," JJ answered her before she started throwing more questions until she lost air.

"But surgery? Why did he need surgery?"

"There was a..." JJ trailed off, eyes drifting past Aitana to Emily, even behind JJ there was Morgan with a pretty grim face.

"If none of you tell me, I'm just going to ask one of the doctors," Aitana impatiently said. They could not be sugarcoating anything for the likes of _her_ right now. She was already terrible enough.

"There was a bullet wound," JJ finally gave her the answer, though as soon as she saw the reaction on Aitana's face, she regretted it.

"Oh my God, where!?"

"Abdomen..."

The noise that came out of Aitana was not possibly human. "No, no, _no_!" Aitana stumbled back and because of her own wound, she nearly fell if Emily hadn't been swift to catch her.

"Aitana, don't go down that road," JJ said with all the experience lacing her words. "Decisions were made and you can't blame yourself for something that Spencer decided."

Aitana wrestled free from Emily's hands. "It's easy to say when it's not your fault he's in surgery."

"I've been there—"

"Then you should know better than to try and talk me out of it!" Aitana shook her head. "I need a moment." She turned and rushed out of the room without hearing another word.

"She shouldn't be alone," JJ said, about to go after her when Morgan caught her arm.

"Did _you_ want to be around people when you were there?" He gave her a pointed look urging her to really think about her memories.

JJ sighed. No, no she didn't. Because when she and Spencer split up and he was kidnapped, she blamed herself. She didn't want anyone around her, much less people trying to tell her that it wasn't her fault.

"Hotch and Rossi are going to be here soon, maybe all of us together and coax her to let us be with her," Emily said. "I can't imagine what she's going through — what on Earth possessed Spencer to do this? I mean, we profiled the Unsubs as torturers, not killers. They wouldn't have hurt Aitana nearly as bad as they did to him."

"You _really_ don't know why?" Emily didn't understand the look on Morgan's face.

"It's terrible but...Aitana was clear, Spencer reached that door first," she shrugged. "He could've made it out. Aitana would've been alright. We would've found her just like we found Spencer in the end."

"Yeah, and then Aitana would've been the one in surgery right now," Morgan shook his head. "Look, Spencer made the call based on what he saw and what he knew would happen. The unsubs were about to get Aitana and take her just like they had with the last victim. We know what the previous victims went through and so did Spencer. He knew exactly what would happen to Aitana if she stayed behind, so he decided not to let it happen. And you know what? If the girl I loved was in that situation, I would've done the same thing too."

That was a lot to take in for Emily and JJ but it paled in comparison to what the actual recipient of that situation was now going to go through.

" _What_?" Atiana had returned with Hotch and Rossi behind her. They'd convinced her to come back to the room so they could wait together for news about Spencer, but never did any of them think they would be walking into... _this_. Aitana felt like her head was throbbing but there was no way in hell she was going to let go what she was sure that she heard. "Morgan, _what_ did you say?"

"Um..." Just like he was sure about everything he said prior to this moment, Morgan was also sure that he knew what Spencer would think right now. "Aitana, I didn't mean..."

"Morgan, I have had a very _terrible_ day and it only got worse when Spencer went into surgery because of _me_ so for the love of God repeat what you said _right. now_ ," Aitana's teeth gritted together.

Morgan exchanged looks with the others. Emily was simply puzzled but it seemed like JJ, Hotch and Rossi were all giving Morgan the same pity look. He had _royally_ messed up, a la F.R.I.E.N.D.S' style.

Aitana snapped with the silence. "Derek Morgan—" she hissed, "—you tell me right now what I want to know! Does Spencer..." She was flailing with words and air at the same time. "Does he...love me?" The question had come in a quiet, frail whisper that resonated with her entire self right now. Never had she felt so small in front of the people she considered family.

And perhaps it was for that reason that Morgan decided to give her the truth. She suffered a lot already and he wasn't there to make things worse. With one simple nod, Aitana had everything she asked for. Her eyes teared up all over again when she truly accepted the answer.

"I need another moment," she said fast and pushed her way through Hotch and Rossi to escape the suddenly small room.

"That's going to be fun to explain to Reid," Morgan muttered with the longest sigh to follow.

~ 0 ~

When JJ found Aitana, the latter was outside of the hospital. The need for air became real that Aitana couldn't see herself staying in the building for another minute. As soon as she saw JJ, two things came to Aitana's mind: stay or leave? She could leave, go home, and possibly try to rest but...would she _really_ be able to do that? The answer was a clear _no_. She had to stay and know what would happen to Spencer, it just didn't mean that things were any easier.

"Aitana..." JJ stopped a few inches from the bench Aitana was sitting on.

"I'm a frikin profiler and I didn't see it," she buried her face into her hands.

"Aitana, c'mon," JJ took those last steps to the bench and sat down beside her, "Did you _really_ not see it?"

At her tone, Aitana lowered her hands from her face. JJ's expression was a mix of sympathy and amusement, the last things Aitana expected right now. "What? I don't..."

"It's like you said, you're a profiler — and a damn good one to — so did you really not see it? Or did you convince yourself that it was nothing?"

Aitana brought her index fingernail to her mouth for a good bite, a long time sign of her nerves. It was one of the things that the team pointed out when she first joined them. Right now, it was completely selling her out.

JJ decided to help Aitana out a bit. "My wedding, for starters..."

Aitana actually bit through her fingernail.

* * *

_It hadn't taken much to start the party after JJ's and Will's wedding. There was finally a cause to celebrate for. No one was going to stay behind so when the drinks came along, no one refused. Some people should have after they hit their magic glass number._

_Aitana could not remember a time where Spencer was as carefree as he was right now. It was fairly amusing and, if she was being honest, nice. Spencer always seemed to be cautious around her. Caution — from his perspective — wasn't a thing right now._ _He asked her to dance in the middle of a bemusing ramble of mythology. Aitana hadn't even heard it the first time and only realized it when Spencer pulled her towards the dancefloor._ _His lanky arms had scooped her in an awkward hug that somehow turned into an actual sway of a dance._

_"I think you could be Asteria," he said just a tad loudly._

_Aitana chuckled. "Really? And who's that?" She looked up in time to see him twitch his nose._

_It seemed even the great Dr. Spencer Reid would have to think extra hard when he was drunk. "The...goddess of astrology, also sometimes known for nighttime divination."_

_"Ah, could be_ — _I do like space but I don't really think it has anything to do with human affairs."_

_"Yeah, you're right. I'm a little slow right now. And sleepy." He slowly lowered his head to her shoulder._

_She smiled with the tickle his hair left over her exposed neck. "I can't imagine how comfortable my shoulder must be right now."_

_"You've always made me comfortable," he said a bit too automatic._

_For a moment, Aitana's smile dropped as something fluttered in her stomach. Her fingers sprawled over his back and for a moment she wondered if he even realized what he said. **Of course not** , the sharp voice in her head was quick to say. **He's drunk.**_

_"Aphrodite, you're Aphrodite," Spencer murmured. "_ _Goddess of love and beauty. Or maybe Themis, for justice?"_ _He pulled his head from her shoulder and by the time he looked at her face, she was back to smiling like nothing ever crossed her mind._

* * *

Aitana exhaled deeply when she was finally able to shake the memory off. Spencer had gone through at least ten more goddesses she could be like, each one more insane than the last. He didn't stop dancing with her either, even when they were each asked by others for a quick song. Aitana convinced herself that it was nothing. Spencer was drunk, he would've clung to anyone in his state. It never meant anything, not even the next day when, in a better lucid state, Spencer presented her with his final decision about the Gods.

* * *

_"I think you took this a little too seriously," Aitana_ _moved around the BAU bullpen with Spencer following closely behind._

_"I don't remember_ _much—"_

_"Ah," Aitana turned around with a teasing smile ready on her face, "So you don't always remember everything like you claim." It was hard not to laugh at his deadpanning expression._

_" **Anyways** ," Spencer made it clear that he wasn't even going down that road, not with the likes of her, "I do remember our conversation and I have it! __Algaea_!"

_Aitana sighed. "It's too early to look like an idiot next to you so just...who is that?"_

_"Algaea was one of the 3 Graces. She was known as the goddess of glory, adornment, beauty and splendor."_

_"Okay, so far I like it. What's the intelligent explanation behind your reasoning?"_

_"Your name means glory!"_

_"Huh," Aitana leaned on one hip to review that fact with herself, "You're right."_

_"You love decorating for the seasons — hence adornment — and I think it's obvious why beauty and splendor are a good fit. You're...pretty." Spencer awkwardly cleared his throat. Aitana swore his fingers were squeezing his usual messenger bag's strap just a bit tightly. "What do you think? Do you like it?"_

_His hopefulness did nothing to calm the fluttering in Aitana's stomach. Why would he be hopeful about something as casual as this? They were just following up a drunken conversation, nothing more. There was never anything more._

* * *

"Aitana...?" JJ had watched her friend fall distant for minutes now and she could only hope that Aitiana was reviewing key moments that would make her see the reality.

"No!" Aitana suddenly exclaimed with a fervent shake of her head. "I didn't convince myself because...because there was never anything..."

"And yet you sound like you're trying to convince yourself right now."

Aitana snapped her head in JJ's direction. "Because it wouldn't make sense. He's, you know, _him_."

"Oh, I know who he is. This is the same person who doesn't know how to use chopsticks."

Aitana couldn't help the light chuckle fall from her lips. "It's endearing," she said offhandedly.

"Ah, 'endearing'?" JJ gave her a teasing smile. Aitana blushed but rolled her eyes in an attempt to be nonchalant. Just as JJ meant to say more, her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Spencer was out of surgery.

~0~

He would be outcold for God knows how many days given his condition. Aitana only found strength to breathe when she heard the Godly words of "he's going to make it". After that, it was a blur of how they each waited their turn to visit Spencer's room. By the time it was Aitana's turn — she'd been mysteriously left for last — she couldn't help the sprint in her pace even though it hurt like hell with her wound.

But there he was, just like promised, sleeping in his bed. Aitana scurried to his left side and stayed there, motionless. She was taking in his battered appearance and letting her heart slowly crack from guilt. There were the brands of stitches peeking out from his hospital gown sleeve. A bruise was already forming over his right cheek and Aitana was sure there were more under the gown. She was thankful it covered the obvious bullet wound.

"Look at you; all my fault," she mumbled grimly.

* * *

_"Oh my God!" Aitana nearly squealed in the bullpen. Five minutes ago, she'd been the sleepiest agent the team had ever seen! She was gawking over the most charming glass coffee pot terrarium she had ever seen — it was the **only** one she had ever seen. _ _"Spencer, this is amazing!" she exclaimed. She was sitting at her desk with the coffee pot right in front of her._ _She wanted to admire every last detail of it._

_It had bright white sand on the bottom with blue river rocks sprawled over. Three air plants were arranged along the glass of the pot with green moss behind them. Amethyst and quartz crystals sparkled under the light and more so whenever Aitana shifted the coffee pot along._

_"You like it?" Spencer still thought that he needed to ask but really it was just to see her reaction again. He always committed everything to memory but this was one memory he wanted to specifically hold onto._

_Aitana fell right into it. Her small curls bounced with each nod of her head. "I love it! It has a nice space theme to it!"_

_Spencer smiled. "I was going for that." It was her favorite topic after all. "I figure the silver and violet from the crystals would compliment the blue river rocks. "I just wasn't sure about the green moss..." It was the only color he wasn't so fond of but it was all he could find._

_"I'm in love with this, seriously!" Aitana stood up from her desk with the biggest grin on her face. "What possessed you to give me this?" For a moment, she swore he seemed to be in a struggle. She could even say she spotted a light pink tinge on his cheeks but she had to be imagining things._

_"I know our last case got to you so...I just...I wanted to..." He was failing with the right words and that alone was concerning for Aitana. Why would he suddenly be out of words? "I wanted to cheer you up," he finally settled with._

_It was then Aitana who sported a blush but she fought hard to push it away. Spencer was being **nice** , that was all. He was overly kind with everyone. She couldn't make things where there was nothing. "Mission accomplished," she smiled._

* * *

The coffee pot still resided in her bedroom to this day. Aitana loved seeing it every time she went to sleep and woke up. "You always give me the best things and what do I do in return? I give you _this_." His condition was all her fault and no one could tell her otherwise.

She pulled one of the seats in the room to the side of the bed. She wanted to stay with him for as long as she could. "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered to him. Her hand rested on the bed, inches from where his right hand laid.

~ 0 ~

Aitana lost track of time dwelling over her guilt. She was in the same position as before when Penelope walked in. She was the only one who had been missing earlier and her devastation of wasted time showed on her face.

"Oh my goodness," she rushed up to Spencer's other side. "Look at him! Oh, you poor thing! But don't you worry, we caught those men! They're getting what they deserve as we speak."

Aitana could find a smile for Penelope's concern and her overall way of being, especially when it came to Spencer. "They said he'll wake up soon..."

Penelope nodded and stepped back. The way she looked at Aitana told the profiler that she was in the loop of Morgan's grave mistake. "You know," she started and unknowingly caused a great force of dread to wash over Aitana, "he would want to hold your hand right now."

Because Aitana's hand still remained inches from Spencer's but with Penelope's comment, Aitana pulled it to her lap. "He doesn't like holding hands," she mumbled.

"With you he would," Penelope said with the most innocent shrug to follow. When Aitana said nothing, Penelope helped her out with an instant where that had been true.

* * *

_Aitana was absolutely afraid and no one else seemed to bother with her. Apparently, her fear for the spooky street was misplaced._

_'It's just decorations!'_

_'It's Halloween, have some fun!'_

_'It's all fake, you know!'_

_Morgan was the only one who seemed to be more on her side. Everyone else was game for the street decked as a haunted path for anyone who dared to go through._

_"Nope, you can't make cross that thing," Aitana stood firm in her spot in front of the street. She wasn't in the mood to be chased around by God knew what with ungodly weapons. She did that for a living!_

_"It's not that bad," Spencer was beside her. Everyone had already gone in, including one hesitant Morgan. They were the last ones and Aitana knew that Spencer was close to running head into the street. He was all about Halloween, after all._

_"If you feel like being spooked, go for it. I will happily wait on the other side." Aitana folded her arms over her chest._

_"Hey!" Penelope walked up to them, absolutely excited just like Spencer. "Are we the last ones?"_

_"Yeah, but Aitana doesn't want to go. It's too scary apparently."_

_"It'll be fun!" Penelope said, making Aitana groan._

_"If I hear that one more time—"_

_"But it **is**!"_

_"I'm scared, alright?" Aitana shook her head. "My brothers used to take me to these haunted house things and then leave me when something jumped out! It was hilarious for them but terrifying for me! I don't want a repeat!"_

_"Aitana, I promise that I won't do that to you." Spencer did the most unexpected thing and held his hand out for her. It left her wide-eyed — even Penelope had to look twice. "Trust me?"_

_"Well yeah, of course, but—" Aitana glanced at the street, "—what if we get separated or something?"_

_"I would find you," Spencer said a bit too fast to be completely normal. Aitana's head snapped back to him. He was still holding his hand for her and apparently he would do so until she agreed with him._

* * *

Even now, Penelope still 'aww'd' at the moment she'd been privy to. "That was _so_ cute."

When Aitana felt her face go completely warm, she looked away. She remembered that moment all so well. She had eventually given in and taken hold of Spencer's hand. He had kept his promise not to let go until they were on the other side of the street. That same night Aitana had gone over that experience and asked herself why it had happened. Eventually, just like always, she convinced herself that it was just Spencer being himself. Overly kind.

"It was nothing," she tried to argue but it was far too frail for anyone, including herself, to believe in it.

" _Right_ ," Penelope snorted. "And I don't like cute kitty pictures." Aitana sighed. "Did you never really see it?"

"Penelope, I really don't—"

"Oh _c'mon_!" Penelope exclaimed. "I have been waiting for this to happen forever! You really didn't see anything?"

Aitana rubbed her face. "What was I supposed to see, Pen? He's Spencer, my friend, my co-worker!"

"Who always gives you the lovey-dovey eyes! If he was awake, he'd be doing it right now!"

Aitana looked over to Spencer, wishing nothing more than to see him opening his eyes. Even if it was to be under his scrutiny, she would take it despite the pain it would bring to her heart. She was scared out of her mind waiting for his reaction when he woke up. She was sure there'd be no such 'lovey-dovey' eyes for her.

"JJ was right," Penelope said quietly as she watched Aitana gaze at Spencer. "You really did convince yourself it was nothing...and if you did that it's because _yooou_ like him too." It was against her entire being _not_ to smile the way she was. "You love him."

Aitana wouldn't even get mad at it. Plus, she didn't want to look away from Spencer. "For a very long time now," she whispered.

Penelope beamed at the admission. The only reason she was holding in her ' _Aha!_ ' was because of the situation.

"Penelope, he was at that door first," Aitana started again. "He was there, he could have gone out and gotten help just like we planned. It's what we _planned_ , what we _agreed_ to..." Tears filled her eyes when she heard the bang of the door being shut in her face, leaving her and Spencer on opposite sides. "He pushed me out, Pen..."

"Oh honey," Penelope rushed around the bed until she could hug Aitana from beside.

Tears were already rolling down Aitana's cheeks. "I screamed for him to open the door again but he wouldn't. And then I heard gun fires..." She put her hand on the bed, inches from Spencer's.

"He made the choice, Aitana," Penelope rubbed comforting hands up and down Aitana's arms. "He made a selfless choice because that's who he is."

"But look where that got him?" Aitana sniffed. "Because of _me_!" She moved her hand over Spencer's until she had taken it completely into hers. Even when Penelope had left, it stayed the same.

Once more, Aitana lost track of time. She hadn't budged from her spot, not even with all the persuasion in the world. She couldn't leave Spencer, not until he was awake. By the time she actually felt him flinch, she was beyond exhausted. She didn't register him shifting until he opened his eyes.

She stumbled out of her chair to be closer to him when he was finally able to see. "Hey there," she greeted nervously. "Welcome back."

"Where'd I go?" He tried shifting his body but the pain caught up with him quick. He groaned.

"Oh, don't move so much," Aitana said, hands hovering over his body as if to keep him still herself. "Sorry, you're going to be sore for a while..."

"Right..." It was coming back to Spencer how it was that he landed in the hospital. "You think they could...bring in some jell-o?"

Aitana chuckled. "I-I can talk to someone about that."

Spencer took in a final breath in before his vision cleared up. He then easily picked up on Aitana's state. "You look tired," he said. "How long have you been here?"

"Doesn't matter," Aitana waved him off. "How are you feeling? Do you need something? I can get one of the nurses—"

"I'm good," he cut her off.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Aitana nodded. She was nervous beyond belief even when Spencer hadn't said anything yet. She was a fool to think that he wouldn't notice again.

"What is it?" he asked her.

There was no point in prolonging the inevitable. She had to say something and now was as good of a moment as ever. "Do you remember exactly how we were separated?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Of course I do."

Those words and his certainty pulled the tears from Aitana's eyes. "Spencer," she sniffed, "Why would...you were at the door first! We _agreed_ , dammit!"

"Aitana—"

"Whoever got to the door first would go!"

"Aitana—"

"And you were there first! You had an opening and you came back for me! You _pushed_ me out, Spencer! Why would you do that!?"

Even though his arms still felt pretty limp, Spencer tried his best to reach for one of Aitana's hands but since she was moving so much he found her forearm instead. "Hey!"

Knowing his condition, Aitana didn't dare to move and hurt him in the process. But the tears wouldn't stop. "Why, Spencer?" Her tone was frail. She needed a straight answer from him.

"You were shot," he answered as if it was the most obvious reason, and perhaps it was. It seemed that way to Aitana. It was nothing to what the others had said.

"Just that?" she asked for some reason. She expected the pain to come from Spencer's anger towards her for leaving him behind but this wasn't from that. Aitana knew it wasn't.

"Just that?" Spencer repeated, puzzled for a moment. He reviewed the simple question and by the third time he realized there was disappointment in her tone. "Why else...?"

Aitana plastered on a smile for him. "Of course not, there's nothing else. There never is, right?"

"What...?"

Aitana resolved to move on and focus on what was most important right now: his health. "I'm going to go find that jell-o for you," she announced.

"Aitana, hold on," Spencer called for her when she was midway out the room. "Are you upset?"

"What?" Aitana would've laughed if he wasn't in his current state. " _Me_? I wouldn't have any right to be! Look at yourself!" She came back to him in a hurry. "You're here because of me!"

"No, I'm not—"

"Yes you are! Just say it!"

"No!" He frowned.

"Say it!"

"I'm not—"

"Please just say it before I lose my goddamn mind!"

Spencer looked her dead in her teary eyes. " _No_." That was final.

Aitana had no idea what to do with herself. She ran a hand through her messy hair and focused, for the moment, on regulating her breathing. Watching her struggle that way made Spencer feel terrible.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Aitana, again, almost laughed. She dropped her hand to her side and stared at him incredulously. He was apologizing to her. _He_ was apologizing to _her_. "You've got to be kidding m..."

"I think you should go rest," Spencer was sure that she was in desperate need of it. If he remembered correctly — the meds were still going strong — she was wearing the same clothes she had on the last time they saw each other. "I'm not going anywhere..." His light sarcasm had her wanting to smile and this time, even when she fought against it, she lost.

"I don't deserve your attention."

"My attention?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"The attention you always give me," she shrugged. "I don't deserve it but for some reason I have it." She found his hand and curled hers around it.

_"He doesn't like holding hands_."

_"With you he would_."

One point for Penelope because instead of pulling his hand away, Spencer found a way to squeeze Aitana's hand. He then offered her one of his usual smiles.

"You should go home and rest," he told her again.

"I look that bad, huh?"

"Never." His smile widened.

Aitana shook her head. "For a moment there, you sounded like Morgan." Spencer laughed until his wound acted up. "Probably shouldn't do that," Aitana warned him. "I'm no doctor but, um, yeah..."

"I'll believe you," Spencer's face scrunched as he tried making himself comfortable again. "And about that jell-o..."

Aitana smiled. "I'll find it, promise." She regretfully had to pull her hand from his but she wouldn't move away from his bedside just then. She didn't know why — nor with what courage — but she leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Actually, she knew exactly why. "Thank you for saving my life," she murmured. She had done everything but actually thank him for what he did.

Unsurprisingly, it seemed like it was the last thing Spencer expected. Aitana did, however, take note of the flush of his face. It warmed her heart, as well as starting that fluttering in her stomach again.

"Uh, y-you're...u-um..." he stuttered. She had taken him by surprise, a complete and utter surprise. "I'm..." If he could just get his words out, everything would be good — things could actually be _better_. It was always his problem: getting things out. Here was Aitana, looking as pretty as ever, waiting for him to say whatever it was he started, but he was failing.

"I'll be back," Aitana said, completely oblivious to his inner struggle. However, just as she was moving away, he grabbed her wrist. If he was going to say it then it had to say it _now_.

_No more backing out_. For once in his life he had to take a leap of faith. "Um, Aitana, there's..." That was wrong. He was doing it all wrong!

"This is a stupid question to ask but are you okay?" Aitana could feel his tight grip around her wrist. "Should I call one of the nurses?"

"I'm just really bad with words." That was an easy admission for Spencer. It was something everyone knew.

"Sometimes but most of the time you say what we need to know, what we need to hear," Aitana smiled. "Trying to keep me safe? I think you did a very good job."

"Hm, don't think I didn't notice the limp in your walk," he said. "Your ankle..."

Aitana sighed. "Forget about that. I think you took the worst part of it. I'm really sorry about this. You were at the door, you could have gone out first."

"Can I tell you a secret?" He was looking at her oddly and even if he was smiling it still didn't make it any less puzzling. "I was never going to let you stay there."

"What?"

"It didn't matter who reached the door first, I wasn't going to leave you behind." It was funny how easily the words came to Spencer then. He knew exactly what he wanted to say, what he wanted her to know. Sure his heart may have been racing but seeing her genuine shock was more than worth it.

"But we made a plan..." Aitana whispered, even then going back to that moment to remember exactly what he'd said. "You said whoever reached—"

"I remember the plan we made, but I lied," he shrugged, an act that left him feeling a bit more of the pain. "What did you expect? I would never leave you."

"But _I_ did," Aitana said quietly. Her gaze started lowering as new guilt fell over her shoulders.

"Hey," Spencer lowered his hand from her wrist to her hand, "I closed the door on you. I didn't give you another option. You did exactly what you were supposed to do."

"I never wanted to leave you," she sniffled. "But when I heard the gun firing...I had to get help."

"And you did," Spencer smiled at her. "I can always count on you."

"Why me?" Aitana found herself asking. "You said...the plan, it was always...why me?"

For a moment, Spencer felt all the courage in the world. "Isn't it obvious?" Everyone always said it was but it never seemed to be for Aitana.

"I don't..." she trailed off. She swallowed hard.

"Aitana, I love you. I thought...I always thought I was overly obvious — I was never really great around women. I'm still not, apparently. I just...I didn't really know how to put my words together so eventually I sort of just stopped trying. Plus, I felt my chances weren't all that great."

"No, they would've been — they _are_! Um, I did wonder sometimes but...I sort of convinced myself that it was nothing; those moments were just me overthinking."

"Really?"

Aitana nodded. "Y-yeah, I'm...I'm not all that great with words either."

"I think you're perfect," Spencer said far too easily and with the certainty that left Aitana startled. He smiled at her softly.

Eventually, Aitana smiled back. "You lied again."

"I did?"

"Mhm, you're perfect with words." She leaned down again to kiss him. It was short but fulfilling nonetheless. Aitana pulled away enough to meet Spencer's gaze.

For some reason, he was twitching his nose. "Did...did that really happen? Sorry, the meds are still going strong..."

Aitana laughed. "Yeah, it did."

"Okay," he nodded. "Can I...can we..."

Aitana couldn't help but laugh a second time. "Something tells me the meds aren't responsible for this fumbling."

"Yeah...that's-that's me..." Spencer sighed. "This is me."

"Good, I wouldn't want you any other way," Aitana told him with the same certainty he used earlier. She leaned over to kiss him another time.

~0~

It would be evening again when Spencer got a late visitor. He'd been waiting for this specific visitor to drop by ever since Aitana told him the story.

Morgan was cautious in ever way he could be coming into the room but it faded when he spotted Aitana's sleeping form _next_ to Spencer on the bed. She couldn't have been comfortable but she made herself fit with Spencer's body in some way that didn't seem like she'd even tried. She just _fit_. One of Spencer's was around her, keeping her from turning away.

"Hey," he greeted with a cheeky smile.

"O _-kay,_ " Morgan started smiling the closer he came to the bed. "So I'm _not_ in trouble?"

"I think I can find it in my heart to forgive you," Spencer said and looked down at Aitana. Even asleep she was careful not to hurt him. In turn, he warded off any nurse trying to get her off the bed. They'd have one angry FBI agent on them if they tried waking her up.

"I'm happy it worked out," Morgan gestured. "But I do have to apologize. I'm sorry I let it slip, kid. I didn't...I was explaining to JJ and Emily why you did what you did out there and—"

"Morgan, it's okay." Spencer knew there was no way Morgan would ever do something like that intentionally. Aitana made a convincing argument as well. "You know I was never great about telling Aitana how I felt but...back there...I didn't need the words. I just knew what I had to do."

He'd always been certain about what he felt for Aitana but he never found the right way to tell her. When he realized that he was better at showing her, he just went with that. If she was having a hard time, he always tried finding ways to cheer her up. He knew her favorite snacks she liked to munch on, her favorite movies to watch with her, her favorite places to go to — he just _knew_.

Where words failed, he tried making up for it with actions. The last time they were with each other, the line between words and actions became skewed. He told her what he always tried to do: keep her safe. He'd seen how terrified she was and he couldn't stand it. She needed to know what he would do for her. She _saw_ it.

Morgan nodded. "Well, I think it's safe to say that now she knows exactly how much you care about her."

"I'm going to show her everyday," Spencer promised the sleeping Aitana beside him. He dropped a kiss to her hair. "And _tell_ her everyday."


End file.
